Leave your past behind you!

Boy was I dragging my feet today! It took me forever to get out to Spade. This morning I noticed that he has lost a little weight and I was concerned so I called my equine therapist and ask what I should do. He told me to worm him again and get him on a few supplements. That was a great excuse for me to run around town for a bit. I am sure his weight loss is due to stress and working in the heat 4 hours a day. We will keep an eye on him and see if he starts gaining soon.
After coming home I started immediately in the pen. Today he was even better then yesterday. I walked up and convinced him that the halter was going to be put on. He wasn't sure but dropped his head and allowed me. I want catching to be positive so I took him to the front of the pen and started brushing him. Although I only brushed him to the back of his mid-section. I am still a little leery of his hind end. Turns out for good reason. After a good brushing I started working on leading. He did much better, so I started tossing the lounge whip back and forth over his back and around his feet. He hates his feet to be touched so I continued until he relaxed. Then to the back feet. The first time I swung the line around his hind legs. He kicked out. He is what I call a "fear kicker". Once he realized it wasn't after him he relaxed. I knew there was a reason my gut was telling me to stay away from the back end. In fact I wouldn't even go farther then his shoulder. A horse can kick side ways as far as it can kick to the back. I definitely don't want to be kicked. I have been kicked twice in my life and both times sent me to the hospital so I am super cautious when it comes to the business end.  Striking with the front end is another worry that I stay aware of. There was a message on the mustang Facebook page about a trainer that was struck in the head my her mustang today. Thankfully she was alright, but it goes to prove that you can't ever be to careful around horses of any kind. So after realizing that he was a little skittish on the back end I started working on other areas that he wasn't sure of, like under his belly. When I would brush him on the side and where the girth would go, he gets super nervous and starts flinching his skin. I started working on desensitizing his lower belly area and he was getting better so I decided to throw my rope around his girth line and imitate the girth with pressure and release. All was great until I lost my hold on the other end, it dropped to his other side. Not even thinking I reached under his belly to grab the other end. As I bent down and reached out he cow kicked at me with his hind foot. It took me a second to realize how close he was, I felt the tip of his hoof graze my knuckles. I immediately ran him many times around the pen to let him know that if he ever kick at me, "the herd mare", again I would run his legs off.  I came back and did the same thing a few more times, keeping my head and hands back this time. I knew I would have to "bag" him soon.  "Bagging" is a desensitizing drill where I take a plastic grocery sack tied to the end of my training stick and rub his entire body with it. Some accept it very easily and others are quite animated about the whole ordeal. Spade fell in the middle. He was hesitant but did way better then I expected. As I was rubbing him with the bag you wouldn't believe what happened. A two man helicopter flew very low right over the top of my round pen. REALLY? What are the odds of that happening? I felt him start to swell with fear. I was swelling with him, being that this big scared horse was less than a foot beside me. I knew that the BLM used a helicopter in their round ups.  In fact from Spade's point of view the memory of the worst day of his life was when a helicopter chased him for miles to collect from the only herd he had ever known. That has to be the scariest memory this guy has. I understood why he was afraid. I was so proud of him...he never moved his feet. We both stood quitely and watched as it flew directly over us. What a great boy! I felt like it bonded us. The rest of the afternoon he followed me curiously around the pen. There is still much to be worked on but we are headed in the right direction.
I couldn't help but leave with a sense of awe. Thinking about Spade and what his past must have been like and the journey that he already had before he came to me. Today a friend and I were discussing how God, once you accept Him and His ways, forgets your past and all the things that you have done. How many times do we not forget our own past? Sometimes our past requires us to forgive others and sometimes it requires us to forgive ourselves. Either way God has forgiven both. I am sure that Spade remembers the day the helicopter came...but because he was with me it wasn't so bad anymore. He has taught me how to respond when the past jumps in your face. He taught me to just stand with the Master and everything will be ok. Eph 6:13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

Exodus 14:13

But Moses told the people, "Don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again.