I get it now.

I have to tell you we had a great trip this last week. It is really what I needed. I was so excited about coming home and starting back on Spade. I assumed and completely expected him to back track a little. I was not ready for him to backtrack this far. If you live in our area you know that it has poured rain the last week. Today was no different. I woke up this morning to rain pounding on he windows of my bedroom. My heart sank. I really wanted to know where Spade was as far as how well his training held. So I got up and went out to feed. I knew that I would count today as a rain out. When I went out to feed I decided to stand at his stall while he ate. He grabs a bite and then bolts out and sneaks his way back in and then bolts again. So I decided to halter him to encourage him to stay in the stall. He was much harder to catch then usual but once I put the halter on he was fine. After getting the halter on I reached out with my stick to scratch him. The second the stick touched him he curled up and started kicking and bolted backwards. Which totally caught me off guard. He has never had a problem with the stick before. When he pulled backwards he pulled me straight out on my rear. So here I am in the pouring rain both of us are soaked and I am sitting on the ground in five inches of mud and manure. Thinking all this to get him back to normal. Needless to say I got him some what back to normal and literally eating out of my hand by the end of it all.
I was very disappointed at the way that he responded to me. It has been a rough day. We are now at the half way mark and I still don't have him riding. I am starting to get worried. I have a lot to do the next two months.
When I realized how disappointed I was I understood how God feels when we fall away from Him. All of us do it from time to time. Spade made me realize that if we don't stay with the " Trainer" then we will drift back to our old ways. This is why it is so important that you find a church that will keep you accountable to your way of life. It is important that we remain with those who know the Lords will for us for support to keep our training solid. The nice thing about Spade is that in a few days I will have him right back to doing what he was doing before I left. We are the same way, once you know God all you have to do to get everything right again is to just spend time with Him. God will get you back on path. On the flip side I never want God to be disappointed in my response. I want to stay with Him. I am still pretty upset that I am having a tough time but we will see how Spade is tomorrow.